January 20, 2011

Rockin’ Review: The 5 Love Languages



Please check out our Facebook Fan Page to see who the WINNER is!!  :)

Once AGAIN….. two of our “dahling” divas have done reviews on a book that is amazing! I don’t know about you guys out there, but I have heard nothing but raving reviews on this book.

Here are our divas:

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The 5 Love Languages

by Dr. Chapman

I have read many wonderful marriage books, but I really feel like I gained some valuable knowledge from this one. My husband and I read this book together which I highly recommend doing. We read a chapter each night and then talked about what we learned and how we felt. It is amazing how Dr. Chapman has really been able to capture the essence of each emotional love language and what makes our love tanks stay full.

He touches on what should be the most obvious ways to keep the love alive in a marriage, yet they aren’t obvious even to a couple with longevity! I have to admit that I hadn’t even considered his points until I read his book, but they make absolute sense. I had this feeling of enlightenment throughout the book as I thought to myself, “Duh! I should know this stuff!”

Dr. Chapman talks several times over through out this book about keeping your spouse’s emotional love tank full. One part that truly resonated with me was this:

“When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and [he] feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach [his] highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and [he] feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and [he] will likely never reach [his] potential for good in the world.”

This is SO true! This is a simple truth that my mother taught to me in not so many words. She always taught me that a good man is a product of a good marriage. This is also true of a good wife. At least that is how I feel about myself. My husband has brought out all of my good qualities and I continue to strive to be a better wife and person because he loves me so well.

Onto the Love Languages. I don’t want to “spoil” what this book holds in store for each of you. Just know that as you read through each of these chapters you will not only discover many new things about yourself, but you will also learn a lot about your spouse, too. Hopefully even more than you ever thought possible. Knowledge is power and if you have the knowledge of what your spouse really needs to fill his/her love tank then you have the power to change your marriage for the better.

Luckily, both my husband and I have a good read on each other and we have pretty well nailed down what each other’s love language is without knowing it. The interesting part is neither of us fit into just ONE of the categories. Probably because both of us possibly have had our emotional love tanks full for a long time. Or it could be because both of us express love in many ways so we’re not sure which love language makes us feel more loved.

We took the profile at the end that admittedly didn’t help either of us discover our ultimate love language. This could be due to the fact that both my husband and I are Gemini’s (if you believe in all that, then we are twins. Multiple personalities make for multiple love languages. lol). Anyway, I do feel that this part was really helpful to understand the differences between the different love languages. Overall, I really felt like this book was definitely worth the read. If you and your spouse have been struggling in your marriage or if you are just looking to take your marriage to the next level, then this book is for you! It is witty and brilliant and will give you a “warm & fuzzy” feeling at the end.

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When my cute cuz {& fellow diva} Kristen started raving about the book, The 5 Love Languages , I decided I should look into it.  My hubby, Jamie, & I were given the book on CD when we were first married, but with Jamie not being a huge reader and me never having a spare minute to myself….we just never got around to it.  HUGE mistake!  I am telling you…..if you are going to read just ONE marriage book in your lifetime…then this would be the one to choose!

The author, Gary Chapman, starts off by clearing up the “mystery” as to why the honeymoon phase fizzles at the beginning of marriages.  He tells us: “We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever.  …..We observe that some married couples seem to have lost that feeling, but it will never happen to us. ‘Maybe they didn’t have the real thing,’ we reason. Unfortunately the eternalityof the in-love experience is fiction, not fact.   …We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was – a temporary emotional high – and now pursue ‘real love’ with our spouse.  ….It is a love that unites reason and emotion.  It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.  Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another….”

He goes on to explain that everybody gives and receives love in different ways….but that it can generally be broken down into five categories: words of affirmation {compliments}, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Most people have a “front runner” love language and then a secondary one.  It’s not very common that two people with the same love language end up together….THUS….you need to figure out what “strikes a chord” in your spouse so you know how to “feed his love tank”. For example, my love language is TOTALLY “words of affirmation”!!  If my hot hubby tells me I look beautiful, I go weak at the knees.  My husband’s love language is physical touch.  COMPLETELY different, huh!  Now, if I were to tell my husband he looks amazing {…which I tend to do, since he IS…and that is how I perceive showing love}….he would definitely appreciate it….but…it would mean SO much more if I walked across the room and laid a BIG kiss on his lips!  That’s how HE recognizes love being shown…since it’s his “love language”.

He has learned to read my love language and I have learned to read his.  We both have the secondary love language of acts of service….so by doing things to help out the other person….we each win “brownie points”.  {WINK}

This book has SO much to offer!  It’s a book you will want to refer back to again and again!  I highlighted my copy like crazy…and I thought I would pass a few of my FAV quotes from the book along.  Kinda a little bit of a “teaser”….are you ready?

“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”

“When I demand things from my spouse, I become a parent and she the child.”

“It isn’t enough to just be in the same room with someone.  A key ingredient in giving your spouse quality time is giving them focused attention….  Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”

“What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”

Ahhhh….you’re hooked, huh!  I am telling you…this is such a great motivation book and a must-have for every relationship!  So what are you waiting for??  Either enter our giveaway OR go purchase your own copy ASAP!  Amazon has them for SUPER cheap!  You can get a new copy for less than $7 + shipping.  :)  ENJOY!!

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Wanna Enter THIS Giveaway?
If you would like to enter THIS giveaway….you can do so by combining the following information….in ONE comment….
#1 - By subscribing to The DATING DIVA  Weekly Newsletter {top right-hand corner of the website} & letting us know you are an official “newsletter reader”. :roll:
By telling us WHICH love language you and your spouse each have. :) If you don’t know, check it out here!
{Include ALL of the above in just ONE comment. Thank you!!}
Would you like an EXTRA SEPARATE entry??
#2 - Spread the word about THIS giveaway via email, blog post, text message, Facebook, or Twitter {Please re-post your actual ”Shout-Out” that you sent to all your friends in your comment below & let us know which networking method above you used.  A link-back to that post/tweet/etc.  if possible, would also be great!}
The giveaway will end tomorrow, Friday, January 21st at 11:00 MST. We will announce the winner on our Facebook Page on January 22nd – so don’t forget to check back to see if the winner is YOU!!  Open only to those living in the U.S. – SO sorry!!

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Recent Comments

167 Responses to “Rockin’ Review: The 5 Love Languages”

  1. Christina says:

    i am a subscriber! and ohhh i would LOVE this book! i believe my husband is an acts of service and i am physical touch…LOL but i actually think we could both be a bit of all or MOST ! :)

  2. Christina says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!


  3. Krystal says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  4. Maria says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  5. Marilynn says:

    I am a subscriber to your newsletter. I love this book. We had it for Book Club and did it for a wedding shower. We had activities for each of the love languages. It was so awesome! If any of you have single friends there is a single edition and if you really look at this book it is really a book about ALL relationships. Have difficulty with a coworker find out their love language and act on it. The person may have an empty work love tank. It is really amazing what this book can bring into your life. Hey also if you have kids he has one for that too! He has a radio show that I listen to as a pod cast. What a great way to remember what he has taught. :D Thanks for reading!

  6. Kira says:

    I’m a subscriber to the newsletter!

    This sounds like such an amazing book! I’ve read and heard so many awesome reviews from so many different women about how great this book is. I’m secretly hoping I’m lucky enough to win this giveaway! I would love to read this book!

    As for which love language my husband and I are – He is move Physical Touch while I’m more of a acts of service kind of gal. My husband is always showing his affection by holding my hand, giving me hugs, giving me back rubs, kisses, etc. While I like to make sure his favorite snake bowl is always washed or take out the trash for him when he isn’t looking or making me his favorite meal for dinner unexpected.

  7. I am a subscriber to your news letter and LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog! :D And my husband and I BOTH are Physical Touch! :)

  8. I don’t want to \LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING\….so pretty please choose me!

  9. Jessica says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  10. Cristal says:

    I don’t want to “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”….so pretty please choose me!

  11. Jessica says:

    I am a subscriber to your newsletter, I love you website! I am Acts of Service and my husband is Quality Time!

  12. Jeanine says:

    I am a subscriber.

    My husband’s love language is acts of service and mine is quality time.

  13. Jana C. says:

    I love getting the newsletter!! Full of fabulous ideas and links to the posts.

    I think our language is often the one of service, but more often the little acts of affirmation.

  14. Jana C. says:

    In an effort to keep the Honeymoon spirit alive and not “LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELING”, I would really, really, really, love to win!!

  15. Jana C. says:

    I posted this with the link on my facebook page.

    “Win this awesome book!! Enter before 11 pm MST today!!”

    Could you post how to link to the post? I don’t know how.

  16. Julie says:

    My sister told me about your site and I love it! Just wanted to tell you, I have read this book, it’s a good one! But if you love this, I think you would love one by John Lund called “For All Eternity.” I have the audio tape and we listen to it when we are driving places. IT is SO GOOD! He has a cute sense of humor and it totally talks about the same ideas.

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